In the context of a monogamous, consensually non-monogamous (CNM), or polyamorous relationship, our deepest needs and most challenging insecurities tend to surface in powerful ways. When deciding to seek partner coaching with our significant other(s), there is an inherent choice to actively work on the relationship as a whole. Often, one partner will decide that the other partner needs to change, and this can lead to a feeling of stuck-ness and a sense of resentment that continues to build and negatively influence other aspects of the relationship.
Partner coaching acknowledges that each person uniquely contributes to the relationship, and each person has needs that are seeking to be met by maintaining the relationship. If a partner feels that the relationship no longer holds meaning for them, there will be very little work to do. Partner coaching fosters an experience of mutuality, exploring and supporting each partner's yearning for the other, while honoring the idea that no relationship is perfect and some challenges are greater than others to navigate together. Every relationship includes challenges, differences among individuals, and conflicts. Relationships that last involve a mutual desire to nurture and support the other, honoring the differences and accepting that which cannot be neatly resolved.
Through narrative, systemic, and experiential coaching work, including restorative experiences and creative expression, partners who engage in coaching together build on their trust and demonstrate a continuing commitment to growing together, rather than drifting apart. Relationships are ultimately an ongoing series of choices, and the choice to persevere is a complex interaction of our joys, our wounds, our needs, and our desires.